I grew up a large, round, awkward guy in Toronto. After going to HS in Pickering and University in St. Catharine’s, I realized I was gay. After my first year at university, I returned to explore this new chapter in my life. Naive and somewhat reckless, I found out I was as HIV+ at 22. This was a tough blow. I became very ill early on. My fear of death failed to appease my fear of living and I turned to the party lifestyle of drinking and drugs and everything it offered. The lifestyle failed to provide the relief I craved. My physical deterioration was matched with an impending mental and spiritual decline. At 27yrs old I had full blown AIDS. I was dying. There was a brief respite in which I pulled myself together for a few months and fought for my life, but upon resolving the more disastrous crises brought about by my behaviour, I quickly returned to my previous way of life. While I didn't realize it, I craved a sense of purpose - something more. I had a longing which went beyond the physical and mental planes.
Somehow I found myself in a hot yoga class. I was having trouble with the side effects of my HIV medication and the physical toll of how I was living and decided to take a chance on the whole 'sweat out the chemicals' thing and gave it a try. I was hooked. I was out of shape, clumsy, awkward, and had little to no experience with health or working out and yet I kept coming back. My teachers encouraged me to keep practicing. For several years I continued to decline but through the insanity, this practice was there. With the realization that things had to change, I made a beginning and that's when this 'something else' in yoga really started to take its effect. The practice moved beyond just the physical asanas. The meditative qualities felt more pronounced.
It started to make sense for me and I wanted to know more. I began to read up on the practice and paid attention to what teachers were saying beyond the description of the postures. I even began to try to implement some of the yogic principles in my life. Becoming a teacher was a natural evolution for me. Through the years the changes were sometimes gradual and at other times profound but still the progress of growth and moving forward has been consistent. The yoga I practiced and taught also evolved. Through more training and styles plus the guidance, inspiration and love of my teachers and mentors, my practice and teaching blossomed into what it is today.
While I could never have envisioned my life unfolding as it has, I am profoundly grateful that I get to awaken each day and share what I've learned with others. I found physical strength and balance, a peaceful mind, and a free spirit in my own life that I never knew could exist. I would like to share this experience of life with you and help be a guide in your journey - wherever it happens to go. Be it the physical practice or something beyond, my hope is that you can find what you are seeking and grow into something more as well.
Namaste.